Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize