Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize