so explain again why im purple
no
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
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I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
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I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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