can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize