This is the prime rib incident all over again
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
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there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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