just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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