things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
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I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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