I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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