He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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