STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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