Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
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I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
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bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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