you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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