someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
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Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
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The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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