It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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