Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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