he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
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