oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
The power of my boobs compel you
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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