i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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