I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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