just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize