I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize