I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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