Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
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Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
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Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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