Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
the room spins SO much faster in panama
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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