i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
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Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
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We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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