O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
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So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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