A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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