He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
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Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
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Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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