Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
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I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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