And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize