haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize