I wish I could punch you in the face.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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