the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize