and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize