two words: eviction party
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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