Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i dont even know how to be here
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize