Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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