I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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