so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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