maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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