Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize