We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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