the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize