6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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