she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize