Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize