I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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