my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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