no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize