I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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